HONORING YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER

The Fifth Commandment

By Nick Bibile

The Law of God is often viewed as divided into two “tables.” The first concerns our relationship with God; the second concerns our relationship with our fellow man. These two are inseparably connected—just as in Jacob’s vision of the ladder reaching from earth to heaven, with angels ascending and descending upon it. The top of the ladder points heavenward—our duty to God. The base rests on earth—our duty toward others.

Yet in our day, the Law of God has been widely neglected. Many claim that the Law is abolished and that we now live only under grace. But when the Law is cast aside, society does not improve—it deteriorates. The church, which is meant to be the light of the world, shapes the home, and the home shapes society. When the church weakens its doctrine, the effects ripple outward into every sphere of life.

The Commandment Stated

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12)
Honour thy father and thy mother… that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee.” (Deuteronomy 5:16)

This command marks the beginning of the second table of the Law—our duty to love our neighbor as ourselves (Luke 10:27).

The word “honor” comes from the Hebrew kabed, meaning weighty, heavy, or glorious. To honor someone is to treat them as weighty—to give them due respect, attention, and obedience. It recognizes God-given authority.

As John Calvin observed, honor consists of three parts: reverence, obedience, and gratitude.

Authority: God’s Design for Order

The Fifth Commandment establishes a principle that extends beyond the family. It speaks of all relationships involving authority—superiors and subordinates. Scripture reinforces this:

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers… the powers that be are ordained of God.” (Romans 13:1–2)

Authority is not man-made—it is God-ordained. When this structure is rejected, disorder follows.

Look around: broken homes produce broken societies. When children are not taught to respect parents, they will not respect teachers, leaders, or law enforcement. Rebellion at home becomes rebellion in society.

Parents are not always right—but they are always to be honored. Even when correction is needed, it must be done with humility and love.

The Crisis in Society

We are surrounded by religious activity—churches, crusades, media ministries—yet society continues to decline. Violence increases. Lawlessness spreads. Fear grows.

Why?

Because external religion without internal transformation produces no lasting change. A gospel that does not confront sin cannot restrain it. When people are not taught God’s Law, they lose their sense of accountability.

The root problem is clear: no fear of God, no respect for authority, no submission to truth.

Where Does Responsibility Lie?

There is enough blame to go around, but the church must look at itself first.

Some preach a gospel stripped of God’s Law—reducing sin, softening repentance, and replacing conviction with comfort. Others, though holding sound doctrine, remain silent—failing to rebuke, correct, and evangelize.

But Scripture is clear:

Preach the word… reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” (2 Timothy 4:2)

Truth must not only be believed—it must be proclaimed.

Honoring Parents in Practice

The most immediate application of this commandment begins in the home.

Hearken unto thy father… and despise not thy mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)

Children are to honor their parents regardless of status—rich or poor, kind or difficult. This includes:

If parents oppose God’s Word, obedience to God comes first. But even then, honor must remain.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1)

Even our Lord Jesus Christ set the perfect example—though He was the Son of God, He submitted Himself to earthly parents (Luke 2:51).

Beyond the Home

This principle extends to all God-ordained relationships:

Even David honored Saul, calling him “my father,” despite being unjustly pursued by him (1 Samuel 24:11). Honor is not based on perfection—it is rooted in God’s order.

Application: Restoring Honor

1. Fear God First

A right relationship with God produces right relationships with others.

That they may learn to fear me… and teach their children.” (Deuteronomy 4:10)

2. Teach the Law of God

God’s commandments reveal His character and establish moral order. Without them, there is no true understanding of sin.

3. Instructions for Parents

Parents carry a serious responsibility:

Children left without discipline will not grow into maturity—they will grow into rebellion.

4. Lead by Example

Children follow what they see more than what they hear.

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

If parents live inconsistently, their words will carry little weight.

Conclusion

The Fifth Commandment is not merely about family—it is about the structure of society under God. When honor is restored in the home, order begins to return to the world.

To reject this commandment is to invite chaos.
To obey it is to walk in God’s design for blessing.

Honor, then, is not optional—it is foundational.